I haven't been here since February. Everything and nothing has changed since then. 2011 was a really rough year for me. I was laid-off from a pretty good job in March, and it's been a struggle ever since. My body weary.
Since March I've gone on more than a dozen interviews, been offered one job that I declined and been rejected from everything else. I did have a wonderful summer position that I really enjoyed, but when that ended it was back to square one. It's been a nonstop job search for most the years and it's been hell. I've been lazy and depressed. I've gained even more weight. I'm still forever alone with no end in sight. I just can't seem to get it right.
It seems so easy for other people, and I just can't get it right. And that's almost entirely my fault. I'm not a victim, I just seem to incapable. When I was young, I was a real star. I still super fat, but I was bright and very accomplished. Now, 31 and single, it's nothing.
So I'm sad tonight. And that's fine. But tomorrow is another day. There's still a lot of life left. I don't want to be bed ridden forever. I don't want to be dead. So tomorrow, Jan 2, 2012, I try again. And try to close the gap a little more from where I am now to where I want to be.
