SET BACK!

I don't know. I'm back to 241. I don't know what to think. Is this real weight or bloat or what? I do know that my diet hasn't been amazing, but I'm positive I'm hitting under 1800 calories. That shouldn't mean that I gain weight! Well, I know I'll go to the gym tonight, and be good about my diet today, maybe that will show up tomorrow. I'm just so frustrated with all of this!

Time to get my panic in check

Yesterday started off rough. I was up almost half a pound, which was a little disconcerting. Look, I know that weight just naturally fluctuates anyway, and mine certainly does. I also went out to dinner with friends since the starting this here project. I kept my alcohol to two glasses of wine. I was ravenous when I ordered, so I had the brisket sandwich -- so good, but even after just this short time it was too rich and fatty. My stomach was upset later. I had french fries on the side, and I have to boast that I barely touched them. I had a few, and was able to leave a good 90% on the table. That was nice. I never thought that dieting had to be all or nothing. But I am seeing that I have a lot more room in my diet to eat healthier, or at least with less calories.

Anyway, I'm back to 239. I have no plans for dinner any time soon, so I hope to see a loss over the weekend. Especially since I'm planning to hit the gym!

It's getting a bit harder

Today was a bad food day. I ate about 1400 calories, which is fine, but my rations were all off. Not nearly enough protein, so I'm super hungry. It's weird though. Even though I'm hungry, I'm really craving anything. I live in the East Village, some of the best food in the world is just right outside my door. I could just run across the street to the deli for ice cream and chips. But I don't want that. I'm not itching for something. I just need to get over the hunger pangs. You know?

I still haven't been working out. There's not really any excuse other than laziness. I just hate it so much. It's so boring! I'd rather be doing anything else. But I know that I need to do it if I really want to drop the weight. I don't know. Maybe I'm just feeling a little down today. 

Still heading downwards...

239 this morning. I'll take it. Thank you body to responding to a calorie deficit. Thank you mind and will for refusing extra slices of pizza and cannoli. That's a life change. Mere weeks ago I wouldn't have gorged myself, but I would have had two slices of pizza and dessert since it's being offered for free and all. But no, I stayed diligent. One slice and a small piece of chocolate instead of a creamy fat-filled dessert. I'm grateful to myself.

On the other hand, I am getting a bit impatient. It took me 5 days to lose 1 pound. That seems like pretty slow progress. Obviously, I need to step up the exercise. I've been pretty still lately. I'm sure more exercise will speed up the process. But there's nothing wrong with trying to get my eating in line first. 

Yikes! Having a tough moment

So I'm working all night on Elections coverage. I don't mind that, but it's wrecking havoc on my diet. Today has been my worst eating day so far. I had Liberte yogurt this morning, which is practically a dessert. I have schwarma pita for lunch, plenty of calories there. Then I had a small salad with a tbsp of caesar dressing, and a pretty small slice of pepperoni pizza. That's all fine, but I also had two high-calorie piece of chocolate and macadamia nut candy. That's about 280 calories in just a few tiny bites. I'm at about 1430 calories. But I haven't even gotten to the hard part. There's cannoli here. Cannoli! I want it bad! I'm still pretty hungry. A part of me just want to give, who likes self-punishment? I never said I was ascetic.

But y'all, I gotta get this weight off, pronto! This is no joke. If not now, when? All my skinny friends are pairing off, and I want that too. I would LOVE to be a fats with a husband, but that doesn't seem to be working out for me. Ugh. Back to work.

ETA: I resisted the cannoli! I feel like Jennifer Connely at the end of Labrynth when she looks at the Goblin King and defiantly says, "You have no power over me."

Morning check-in

I'm under the 240s. That feels good. The 240s were my highest weight ever. I'm glad that I didn't stay in them for long. I was around 225 for many months, and then hovered around 235 for months until I exercised my ass back down to 225. That took almost a year! Not a big diet change, but lots and lots of spin class. The 240s were a shocker. I weighed 242 on 10/1 at my doctor's office. I have to go back at the beginning of December and it's be nice to be about 10 pounds less. That means losing about 7 more pounds this month -- including Thanksgiving. It's going to be tough.

What I ate today

Liberte Medditerean Greek Yogurt is shockingly delicious. It tastes like a decadent dessert. To my surprise it is. It's made with cream. Did you hear that? Cream! I can't be eating too much of yummy yummy tastiness. Looks like it's back to Siggi's for me. Ha! Yeah, right. As if I have the money for Siggi's. Perhaps I can scrape a few pennies for some Dannon Light and Fit.

I'm remembering those little high school tips I mentioned earlier. Tonight I bought a can of veggie chili for dinner. I poured about a third of it over a baked potato. Lots of fiber, protein, and carbs but few calories. I get the satiety and warmth of comfort food from an extremely healthy low-calorie meal.

I had a chicken schwarma pita for lunch. I'm guessing that's about 550 calories? Maybe 4 ozs of chicken, and smallish pita, a spoonful of hummus, lettuce and cucumber. The warm chicken and bread feels indulgent, but it's really not too bad.

That's about 1330 calories for me according to SparkPeople. I also had once slice of Wasa crispbread and tbsp on hummus. I tried to be honest as I can, but I can't help but feels that's a low-ball figure. Still, this really hasn't been that hard. There have been moments of hunger and craving, but nothing overwhelming. Nothing to make me give in.  I did have a fun-size Butterfinger on Halloween, but that's been about it. So far this is working.

A New Scale

Hi! So my trusty scale that I've had for the past several years conked out on me a few days ago. I just ran to K-Mart to upgrade. I'm apparently at 240.4 pounds. I was nervous that my old scale had been under-reporting my weight since it broke, but the new scale numbers seems to be right in line with numbers I had been getting. A 4 pound loss in a week. That's probably more than I have ever lost in a week in my life. If I can keep that up I'll be thrilled.